1) UNDERSTAND THE TRANSITION– Firstly, accept it’s you who wanted this change, so try to be bit liberal to this phase. Transitions of any kind are difficult and this transition of me to us, mine to ours will take its own time but trust me, everything will soon be as you wished it to be.
2) GIVE ENOUGH TIME TO ADJUST WITH NEW LIFE– It’s not easy to adjust with anyones manner of living and way of thinking in every moment of a day. Give enough time to understand each other and find out an intermediate path whenever circumstances arises.
3) EVEN AFTER MARRIAGE KEEP FEW MONTHS OF COHABITATION– Do not force to immediately get in the feel and customs of marriage. You are not robots who can switch completely in a day. Ask your families not to force anything on both of you whether they may be social or religious customs. Everything will come with time. Enjoy few months of cohabitation. Understand each other’s families, their style of living and their religious beliefs as well. Let him/her choose what best he/she could do . After all one’s best is all what one can give. Forcing will even worsen the situation.
4) HAVE I MARRIED TO THE RIGHT MAN OR WOMAN- If you are under the cage of such feeling, you are no exception here. In first one year of marriage you may think it many a times but trust yourself and your choice. Relax.. it’s just a phase.
5) LEARN THE IMPORTANCE OF ME TIME- You can enjoy your own hobbies while sitting close to your partner or can sometimes go out exclusively for shopping or meet your old friends. At times, this me time is what it takes to get back to a happy normal life.
6) COMMUNICATE- Everyone know it well but we seldom do it honestly. Communication is the key word. Communicate everything from how you used to live, what kinds of friends you had, what are your favourites etc .This will help your spouse to understand what kind of person you are and how different you are from your partner. Predominantly, don’t forget to communicate what you expect from this relationship. Be honest and open while communicating.
7) RESPECT THE DIFFERENCES- No two persons are same on this earth. Each one has their own way to live, own choices, own interest, own hobbies…you both may be two complete different personalities. Respect that, rather trying to change them. Love will automatically change few expected things.
8) NEVER JUDGE EACH OTHER WITH ONE GIVEN REACTION– There is a typical state of mind which gives reaction and state of mind is not permanent so don’t judge with that. Relax and wait for the right time to talk about the concerns.
9) PRAISE EACH OTHER– Admire for every little good things they do. Recognise and applause even minutes of good gesture. This will motivate your partner to do more good for you.
10) PLAN PRIVATE WEEKENDS- You may or may not require the need of any privacy after few years of togetherness but for first year it is something vital and mandatory. You together steal some time in personal. Share fantasies and things which you have not done till date but you always wanted to do. They can be silly and stupid but sharing your inner thought brings closeness. Try to find your best friend in your partner. Best friends are one with whom you are, what you are!
11) LEARN TO SAY SORRY AND LOVE YOU- Saying sorry and love you takes nothing but gives so much peace and affection. Try speaking out as and when you feel like.
12) TRY TO PLAN A FORMAL DATE IN REGULAR FREQUENCIES- Keep the romance alive. The one new chapter wedlock opens is romance. Dress yourself in the best you can, go out with your partner like King /queen, adore the beauty of your spouse and express warm approval to your partnership. Look at each other, feel the feelings you always urged to have. Trust me, this simple blush of love will keep you fresh and romantic for many many more days to come.
13) A HUG IN A DAY IS MUST- A tight hug from partner can take him/her out of any ill feelings and bad mood. Don’t ever forget, hugs always work in a positive way.
14) SURPRISE YOUR LOVED ONE- A simple surprise just twice or thrice in an year is not that tough. Surprise gives a feel that you are remembered when you are not even around.
15) SET THE BOUNDARIES FOR IN-LAWS, RELATIVES AND FRIENDS- This is the time you have to understand that the way you two are connected is unique. Understand each-other’s point of view. Trust what she/he says. Initially you may not find yourself that close to your partner like you are to your parents or any close friend and so looking at your spouse’s perspective might get difficult to you but keep a belief that a partner for life will never have an aim to hurt you or your close ones . It’s just that one has a different way to think at any issue. Don’t ever compare your partner’s place with anyone. You both mutually have to understand and decide what and how much you can allow others to intervene in your life.
